{key} ka' bug

feeling unapreciated

Did you know that there is no such thing as a apreciated artist!?! It's true unfortunately.......sigh...

I'm going to whine a litte bit right now because it's my blog and i want to LOL. Anyways i've been seeing alot of things that resemble my work (of course no sites or names will be mentioned) and i'm getting no credit. My friends say it's because they probably forgot and maybe that's true but it's too often that i see (in my CA valley girl voice) Oh my God i got this from so and so you so inspire me! I guess only people who are known deserve recogition. Thats life and i'm living it so hey what can i say? "If my life were perfection I wouldn't want to scream when someone called my art outdated" Isn't that the truth? It's like i'm a nobody but i'm a some body that you want to imitate? Whatever but untill then i'll be in my studio creating art that can be imitated but never duplicated who was that said that?

Theresa

I've been second guessing myself all day and just feeling really.......

down

down

down

d o w n

I'm so disapointed because yet again I wasn't picked up by another design team. Now in real life this shouldn't bother me because there is no way that every one is going to say yes but worry is what i do best. Second guessing myself comes natural. I talked to soph today and she said that i just wasn't what they were looking for and to not change myself to try and fit but to keep doing what i'm doing. She's righ she's right that's why i'm glad to call her my best friend. So anyways i got in the creating mood and this is what i came up with.

JOURNALING:

If my life was perfection I wouldn’t want to scream when someone called my art outdated

and I wouldn’t let  fear find me and feel intimidated,

but I do.

And life wouldn’t feel imperfect to me because see if my life was perfection

I would be free from all  insecurities, and

maybe my life would be brighter and then every one could truly see my inner me.

My inner me ?

where is that?

and if some one finds it would you please tell me

because I’ve been searching

and it might just be

that maybe I’m just too insecure to see.

Although when I look into all of your eyes

all I can see is that it may not be so bad to be an imperfect me.

So i just tasted my first taste of rejection? I didn't make the team at serendipity scrapbooks i'm so bumed but i guess this is what it's all about. I was on the phone with my sister counting down the seconds i must have hit the refresh button like a million time to see the post and then there was the list and my name wasn't on it *sigh*

I told my sister i didn't make it and she was like that's okay don't give up you know that your hot stuff! I love her so much and i'm thankfull to have her support! You know i wonder what it was though? You know what i mean like what didn't i do right and i have to wonder that maybe it's because all my supplies are ancient? Is this like the fashion world where you have to keep up to be in?  Like as soon as i found out D walked in right when i needed him. I was telling him about my dilema of all my out dated stuff and of course he was like well that must be it because your awesome! I love him too but it is what it is.........Hmmm I wonder.... i do have several other places that I applied for  so we will see how it goes with them. You know i think that maybe it kind of stings because i really put all of me into the work that i did not saying that all the other ladies didn't either because i'm sure they did too. Well congrats ladies to those that got in can't wait to see what you all come up with. Off to have a small tiny pity party.

So time is dwindling down on the design team calls that i entered and i'm so nervous. I didn't even really consider how i would feel if i didn't make the cut or not untill i was on a message board and a girl that i feel is very talented was having second thoughts about entering the call. She was saying that she had entered a number of calls before and was turned down. Wow! Now i don't see how i could have forgotten to go over that little detail in my mind. I've been going over the entries in the gallery and i'm like wow i'm just floored at the talent and i'm a little scared also. While they are using these new products i'm stuck with the old and i'm wondering will that count against me? Every one else's looks different from mine and it's hard to find some one who stands out from the crowd too, and i'm asking myself do they know something i don't know? Maybe i should change my style?......

Then i have to check myself and know that whatever i am just has to be good enough because i'm not going to transform me, not this time. My husband once told me that there are no constraints on art and what i create is from my heart and soul and so that is what it is....art. I love that man! I wonder did any of the well known scrapbook artists go through this too. Well i'm not sure if i will cry or not about this we will soon see. I guess all just have to pick up and try again and always know that the me i am is who i'll i have to be.

Here is a layout i did for one of the entries. The layout is supposed to about you it's supposed to convey your style through your use of paper and embelishments.

Journaling: If it wasn’t 4 you I would have never become a scrapbooker, I would have never became an ameature photographer. You all were my reason for wanting time to stand still 4 ever! I want to remember every thing. If it wasn’t for you I would have never curbed my attitude so that I could be the best Role Model that I could be! I’m way more patient than I have ever been. Because of you my imagination has grown at least 20ft tall!!!! I have creativity that I only had dreamed about. If it wasn’t for all of you I would have never found me

Supplies

Pp – harmony by tracy ann- miniver collections (flower spray)

pp- Crate paper (trendy)

note book paper

around the block black ding brads

bazzil white cardstock

green die cuts with a view textured card stock

junkits expressions rub ons

pigment pro black ink pen 0.5

sakura permapaque 1.0 blue

sakura permapaque 1.0 purple

sakura permapaque 1.0 green

sakura permapaque 1.0 pink

sakura permapaque 1.0 copper

doodling

I'm definetly living up to my new years resoulutions how about you? I only made ones that i could stick with like create more and that i have been doing. I've been rolling out the layouts like a mad person! When i put down all the criticisims and just said you know what i need to get them done i've been really satisfied with what i have been doing. I feel like i have been freed. No more surfing galleries to see what every body else is doing just put down my own effort. Lately i've just been doing what i'm comfortable with and expanding off of that. So here is to creating more and being comfortable in my own style whatever that is!

Theresa-

Another challenge from www.ebbcreations.com This one was really fun too!
The requirements are: All layouts must include a minimum of two photos.

Then please choose a minimum of the following:

1 Item from Group A
2 Items from Group B
1 Item from Group C
1 Technique from Group D

Group A
Patterned paper from a Slab or Stack.
Patterned paper that you have at least 10 sheets from that manufacturer
Patterned paper that you have had for over a year

Group B
Buttons -- at least 4
Eyelets -- at least 4
Brads -- at least 4
Primas -- at least 4
Ribbon

Group C
Chipboard
Letter stickers
Jolee's by You

Group D
Heat embossing
Paper tearing
Stitching

And the bonus item?
Can you make it work?

This week you can take the SIiYGI challenge to the highest level by putting a SLIDE MOUNT on your layout!
So this is what i came up with.

These are the elements that i used- Group A
Patterned paper that you have had for over a year

Group B
Buttons -- at least 4
Brads -- at least 4

Group C
Letter stickers


Group D
Paper tearing

and a slide mount i cut it and made photo corners out of it

I have been hanging out alot at www.ebbcreations.com I have been having a blast over there and really getting involved they had a challenge over there and i usually don't participate as much but for some reason i just want to do stuff. So anyways here is what the challenge was.
Include a 5 x 7 photograph.

Use four different patterned papers.

Use at least one ribbon.

Round at least one corner.

Be sure to include a title.

Here is what i came up with! I used a picture that i had done on a layout years ago and it was just bothering me and i kept saying i'll redo it and never did well this was my chance so i did it and i love the results.

I really want to try my hand at a design team. I have searched and have found a couple of groups that are looking. As i work on my projects i'm sooo over whelmed with the question of will my best be good enough?

Will they like it? I mean them saying no is the same as saying that i'm not talented right? When did it all get so complicated? When i was first introduced to scrapbooking it sent me back in time to movies like the little princess. It made me think of books filled with wishes and magic. Back to school days of just putting "stuff" together. Something to make you remember and  be proud of your creation.

I dont' remeber having to study design principles and all this other mumbo jumbo that comes with the modern day scrapbooks. But yet i still look every day comparing myself to every thing that is not me. I'm still plagued with the question  what is me? When will i develope my style and just be comfortable? I'm not really sure of this right now but i think i might just falling into my groove.......i don't know what to call it LOL. So anyways here i go trying this thing out to see if i can cut it as a design team member. I'll let you know what the verdict is when it comes out keep watch!